You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
