how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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