Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
