The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
