Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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