So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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