the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
love makes seman taste better
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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