waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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