I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
