mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
