Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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