To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
