i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
