So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
