No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
