I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
