matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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