Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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