My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
