i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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