I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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