im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
