I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
