I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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