also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
