I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
