I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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