I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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