I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
