Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
