We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
where am i from again
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
