And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
