Someone shit on the floor
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
