She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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