Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
