i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
