Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
