the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
