Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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