Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
