drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
