Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you would pick up someone in the library
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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