Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
