True but thats because hes a fetus.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
