I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
