i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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