I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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