Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
