is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
