Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize