Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
