I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
