Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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