It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
