Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize