So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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