Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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