just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
