Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
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