Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize