it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You ate ashes out of my bong
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
