oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
