oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
