is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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